“I don’t think I’m sick”

Oddly enough, one of the symptoms of both unipolar depression and all phases of bipolar disorder is the idea we aren’t sick.

In depressed phase, it is associated with lowered self-esteem. Together with all other negative thoughts comes the idea that we are just lazy, and we’re just pretending, and we don’t have depression at all. (This is greatly aided by having relatives or friends who provide us with helpful phrases along the lines of “why don’t you just pull yourself by the bootstraps” and “you know, you could just try not to be depressed”.) And so we find ourselves on the floor, curled into fetal position, thinking we’re just imagining all this and in fact don’t have any reason to feel bad, so why don’t we get up and do something. Then we don’t get up and we don’t do something, because depression won’t let us move.

Continue reading

Mood charting

The image above is an example of my mood chart. Click the thumbnail below for full size version.

Foto 13-03-15 12 44 01

Mood charting is important for us bipolars for a few reasons. First and foremost, it allows us to identify patterns to our moods — we can look into the past and make comparisons, and once we gathered data for a few years, we may be able to predict mood swings before they happen. (For instance, I always get unwell in the early spring.) Second, it provides us with material we can present to our psychiatrist or therapist, which is especially useful when we change doctors. And perhaps most importantly it gives us hard proof that no matter how we feel right now, this too shall pass. Continue reading